You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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