you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Randomize