Where are you?
In a non slutty way
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
