is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
