its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I just found puke in my bra..
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
