We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
