is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
