Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Little spoons don't ask big questions
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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