How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
