If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Come back. Shots need mouths.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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