Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
