**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
