We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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