matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
