we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
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