The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
