Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize