I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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