I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize
