I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
