he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Randomize
