Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
did you just send me my own nude
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Randomize
