R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
