Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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