What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
