so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
