P.S. I can't hear my feet
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
