dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
You were trust falling into bushes
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
