She's JV to your varsity
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
