Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
