I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
