just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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