I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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