so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
