I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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