so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
