I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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