That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
