maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
