between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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