Can i not drive my cunt home
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize