we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
