I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
