Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
