drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize