dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Dear god my vagina.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
