PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize