Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Randomize
