i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
