So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
