If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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