dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
