life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
