I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
