her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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