my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
