i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
