im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
another moral hangover. fuck.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
