I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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