Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
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