I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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