It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
