No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
