I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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